you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
