I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize