The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
