i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
