It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize