Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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