The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
