Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
