me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
