im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
