i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
