Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
