there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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