Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
