Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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