Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sorry about my life...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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