Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
