4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
