im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
