Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
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It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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