he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
