Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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