I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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