I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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