apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
