I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
