I feel like abortions should bother me more
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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