Porn is love you can see.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
