My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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