So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Come share oat with me in your robe
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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