Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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