You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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