I love black thongs
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
