I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
