And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
