isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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