rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
