and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Found your dick twin last night
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
