i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I touched a dick in church today
I have post one night stand depression
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