You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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