Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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