Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
