who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
