I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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