Are we in a gay sports bar?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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