there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sext me about skeletons
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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