I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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