Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
