i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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