It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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