Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Of course I have a pirate flag
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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