i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
