I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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