Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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