Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
