He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm just crazy horny about you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
