Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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