I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
