Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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