So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
