so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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