Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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