Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize