My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize