ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
