Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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