i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
