That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
