Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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