Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
